A Tree Grows

Posted: April 19, 2007 in Goals, Homelessness, Hopes

This past week I’ve had a case of "bloggus interuptus."

The "Homeless Blogger’s Dictionary" defines this as:

"…a cessation or interruption of the act of posting a blog due to a limitation of time or lack of accessibility to or of equipment."

Okay, so I made up the definition.  

In layman’s terms, I have – as the saying goes – a lot of irons in the fire.

Being homeless is a struggle in itself. Trying to transition out of homelessness and back into mainstream society, even more so. And, that is the cause for my "bloggus interuptus."

I have been having quite a number of positive things happening in my life these past 4 or 5 weeks. As such, it’s made my life busier than it has been for some time. I’ve had to re-learn and re-develop the discipline necessary to effectively parse out my time and deal with it all.

Unfortunately, however, I currently have to exist in a world where access to certain services is out of my control. This means that I have to try and function within the constraints proscribed by public offices and policies. This in turn means that I have to work my basic survival needs around these times. Not an easy feat.

The overwhelming desire to get out from under the affliction of homelessness; the basic need to survive each day; and, trying to juggle everything that’s been happening in my life has been an enormous task. Add to that the limited number of hours in a day and it becomes an exercise in patience and impatience.

I’ll admit that with all of the positive things that have been occurring in my life, I’m acquiring the tools and the means to get out of homelessness. And because I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel, there is this part of me that wants this nightmare associated with homelessness to end right now. And although I know that getting out of homelessness isn’t something that will happen overnight, it still creates a bit of impatience within me.

Yet, I know that good things are worth the struggle and the wait. I know that I have to take things one step at a time. I know that I must simply continue to press forward – looking at the long-term goal and not the immediate results. To do otherwise could actually create more of a setback than a step forward.

It brings back to mind the parable of the tortoise and the hare. The hare kept sprinting toward the finish line but in the end lost the race. The tortoise, on the other hand, kept a steady and even pace. Deep down inside I know that I have to be like the tortoise and not the hare.

Still, having been homelessness now for nearly 18 months, there are often times these over-whelming desires and impulses to sprint forward. And so, there is this constant conflict going on inside of me.

My Grandmother once told me that a tree bears fruit only in its own time. To try and force it to produce fruit more quickly will only bring forth fruit that is second rate and not as succulent as it should be.

Thankfully, the limbs on the tree that I call my life are starting to bud…


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