I Just Wanna Sleep

Posted: June 9, 2007 in Health, Homelessness, Hopes, Misconceptions

Hollywood is notorious for creating stereotypical images of people. And, they do it so well. But, then again it is just fantasy after all.

One of the images of homeless people, as portrayed by Hollywood, is a drunk sleeping on a park bench with his bottle of whatever in a brown paper bag and using old newspapers as a blanket.  

Because of the cold I have that’s what I want to do: lie down and go to sleep. But I can’t. There are things that need doing and I have to do them. That means still getting up at around 4:00 AM – before the rest of the city wakes up – so that I can have the time to write the mornings post, check my e-mail and things like that. After that, it’s time to go about the business of working my way out of homelessness.

This cold has thrown me for a loop. And, it’s making it hard for me to be excited about anything or to be motivated enough to want to do something constructive with my time. The biggest struggle though, is waking up.

This morning, for example, when my eyes opened all I could think about was since it was Saturday how nice it would be to just stay under the sleeping bags and blankets and sleep until around noon. It was a major battle to make my aching bones get out from under the covering and get dressed. Then the long walk to the location where I’m writing and posting this from seemed like an eternity.

I must’ve looked really bad yesterday, because several people commented on how "terrible" I looked.

If I looked as bad as I felt, then it must have been a truly scary sight.

One of the regular riders on the local bus system – who knows that I’m homeless – told me that what I needed was to go home, get into a nice hot tub and crawl into bed under a bunch of warm blankets. When she remembered that I was homeless, there was a slight look of embarrassment on her face that said: "Oops."

While I don’t begrudge anyone who is able to do that, right now being able to soak in a nice hot tub isn’t in the cards. I’m hoping that within the near future it will be but I’m sure that I’ll be over this cold by then.

Because of the misconceptions that many Americans have regarding homelessness, I’m sure that someone is going to try telling me that I "made my bed, now I have to lie in it" so I should stop whining.

Actually it would be nice if I had a bed to make, let alone one to lie down in.

The good thing is that, I feel like the worse of this cold is over. Life should begin getting back to normal within the next 3 or 4 days.

What I’m really looking forward to though, is a time when a "normal" life for me doesn’t include having to be homeless.

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